You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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