In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
