and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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