can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
