The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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