chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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