I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
