He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
