Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
