one word: firstdatebathroomanal
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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