He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
