like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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