I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Randomize
