the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
