Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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