And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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