so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
