At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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