U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
this is an emotional support booty call
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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