I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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