bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
