did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize