Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
