Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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