i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This is the prime rib incident all over again
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize