what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
