Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Let's get the cat blown out
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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