Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
