If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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