careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
