dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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