He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
