Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
