but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
