It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
