How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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