everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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