look no pants
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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