He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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