what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
did you just send me my own nude
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize