The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize