My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
