I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
