yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
