I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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