Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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