I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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