I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
