i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
