The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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