I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize