and you said cock pushups were impossible
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize