He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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