I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
