Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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