There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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