but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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