Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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