I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize