We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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