What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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