I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
