Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
