just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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