Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize