hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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