i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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