i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
